Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Woman in the Woods

Today I was going to have a rant about how much this university's policy on toilet-paper rationing gives me the shits (so to speak). You'd reckon with all the redundancies they've made over the last couple of years they would be able to afford an adequate supply of toilet-paper for the few staff who are left.
I don't think our consumption is excessive.

But then, to cheer myself up I had a browse of my favourite library blog - the wonderful Awful Library Books.

And I came across this book:

Looking at the cover, you'd guess this would be all about how to climb a mountain, ford a raging river and wrestle a crocodile. But a quick scan of a couple of pages suggests that instead, this book will teach me how to "nag, complain, feel queasy, squeamish or faint to get my own way".

That's a novel approach to the outdoors, isn't it?

Anyway, I was so intrigued that I was straight on to Amazon to order my own copy (which I imagine is the very same copy that was just weeded on the above blog). I can't wait!!

I am going to learn HOW TO FEEL FEMININE OUTDOORS. That's one of the chapters.
No doubt I am going to learn a whole heap of other useful stuff too.

Today is my last day in work for a couple of weeks, I am taking some holidays. When you next see me, I will be a changed woman.

Bye-bye everyone, see you in June!


  1. Oh...dearest Dishwasher Crab! Do have a great time off! I will miss your wonderful postings on your blog in the meantime! On the subject of toilets, toilet paper...I totally agree -- it's terrible for employers to be cheap about hygiene/sanitation matters -- esp. in this age of flu virus pandemics, etc. -- awk... those awful institutional rough or too thin tissue rolls... and running out!

    Have you heard of the WTO? World Toilet Organization's a serious website and movement started by a retired engineer. What about a book by a medical doctor: "How to Shit Around the World" ...about travelling and dealing with gastro-intestinal events plus info and tips on toilet facilities around the world.

    In general, I look for fancy hotels and walk in like I'm a hotel patron. In the city I live in, I know the locations and entrances of the hotels. The next best toilet facilities are the shopping malls. Public libraries aren't bad but the larger the library, the worse it is. Airports are pretty good...very good sometimes when you're there just after the maid's cleaned up. Have you been to Chicago's O'Hare? A couple of years ago, I went there for a book conference and discovered to my delight the airport has a complete non-touch system ...except for the door to the stalls, of course.

    I avoid facilities located in public parks, streets, etc. Have you seen an interesting website:

    It's a website started by a woman I think in the US. It started off as a list and ranking of toilets available to the public in New York city but now it's got cities all over the world. Every year, they award the Golden Plunger Award to the best facility. A great resource of anyone planning to visit a city as a tourist.

    People can keep adding to the list. I found the list/rankings for Manchester... not too many since this is a US-started website...probably everyone should start up one in their own city...

    Ohhhhh... you got me sooo off on the subject of toilets... it's time for lunch now. Or perhaps before that I shall have to make sure I scrubbed everything around me sparkly clean...

    Bob voyage and bob appetit Dishy Crab and friends!

    ps -- caught some of the current eppys of Corrie on ytube -- shhhhh... don't tell anyone or the higher powers will take it down, but it was absolutely WONDERFUL--- sad and funny...ooooh that awful Tracy! Did you notice when Dierdre in her euology declared that at 54 she's an orphan and Tracy had to pass over her hanky with handcuffed hand to her jailer who had to dab her eyes as well? Norris, being the usual little grumpy gnome didn't want to be a pallbearer and the Croppers only closed their cafe because of budget/staff shortage not out of any respect for Blanche in particular.... and the One o'clock ladies in the second floor balcony at the church with their flasks of tea treating Blanche's funeral like some kind of show! I haven't been to church ina while but last I checked -- you couldn't drink anything even tea during a service! hahahaha!

  2. Oh dear, I can't spell... hunger strikes again. It should be Bon voyage and Bon appetit... not Bob voyage...


    and these days... I've gotten too old and too set in my ways to bother much with camping in the great outdoors -- I prefer a warm, dry hotel/motel/hostel/dormitory... over freezing ina tent somewhere in the woods... and at least a decent shower facility somewhere with ... what else a fully functioning flush toilet. Please, no more outhouses for me...these days I can't even bear the thought of those portable toilets at these giant concerts...what do you call them over there in the UK? Out here there's: Port-a-lets, Port-a-potties, Jiffy Johns...

  3. Seeing as how we have got onto toilet-related talk, here's a poem:

    Now the footie's over
    What are we going to do?
    Twiddle our thumbs? Scratch our arses?
    Our life has turned to poo

    Thank you and goodnight.

  4. I'm obsessed and I blame the Crab!
    I know you are not there Dishy my dear, but that web site is wonderful!
    May I hum a little tune
    'Don't go changing' dum dum doo......

  5. A hostel is a place where usually travellers and students live and which is supervised by an administration.

    La Rocca Hostels