Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Back by Popular Demand

The Knitted Uterus! Many thanks to Pork Chop for reminding me of this thing of loveliness.

No, I have no idea what it's doing up a tree either. For those of you of a crafty bent, here are the instructions should you wish to make your own woolly womb. Who wouldn't?

Rummaging about, I have discovered that there are other anatomically correct things you can knit. Like a brain:

Isn't that astounding? Even more remarkable I think, is that there an entire Museum of Scientifically Accurate Fabric Brain Art.

Have a look at it, it's great! You can zoom in on the images and learn all sorts of stuff about neurology and textile art and the wonderful ingenuity of clever people with too much time on their hands.

Coming soon: how to crochet an entire environment.


  1. Well! I must say that I thought you and Pork Chop were just joking, but a woolly womb you can actually knit yourself, complete with pattern and instructions! There are really no boundaries to people's talents or their endeavers.

    So why stop at a nice pink womb when you can do up a nice, multi-colored mind also?

    Dear Crab, I'm so glad I found your blog. I've learned things I know I would never learn elsewhere! Oh, and congratulations on getting more followers!

  2. Thank you Snacking, that is so very kind of you. And yet I don't feel I can take the credit myself; I think it is down to the erudite nature of the hallowed institution in which I work.

  3. May I make a bold contribution in the form of a knitted pussy?
    Click here

  4. Nice one, Ghost of - or should I call you Mr Ramses? How does one address the living dead?

    I suspect the cat has been knitted out of the leftover wool from the uterus. Same colour.

  5. "Mr Ramses" or "Shaffy" is fine. Het kan me niet schelen...that's Nederlands for "I'm not bothered".

  6. Dear Ghost,...sorry Mr. Ramses:

    My virginal eyes are still burning...!!! But at least I'm now over the mid-afternoon blahs...

  7. Hi Snacking. Mr Ghost is a bit of a rough diamond, isn't he?

    The Domestic Goddess has read your earlier review of the Swiffer and is very keen to know more. Is there any further advice you can offer her?

  8. Hi Crab...or can I call you DWC as some other Commenter did earlier. Maybe I feel “global” today. It seems that when some big bank or other big company gets even bigger, they’re no longer known by a name but by letters – take for example that fine British banking institution Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation, it's switched its moniker when its “brand” went global a few years back so that now, it’s HSBC. Another lovely stalewart in the accountancy/consulting biz Price Waterhouse Coopers became PWC. So now I suppose all of us eventually will be a series of letters or numbers...oh gosh...I suppose we are that in a way already...{sigh!}...yes, indeed, the future does look bright, doesn’t it?
    Well, it’s a Friday night, Saturday morning...I shouldn’t be down or get anyone else down because of some momentary, random observation on my part... I must say, your blog is a really bright spot in an otherwise, mostly humdrum day...I do love being pleasantly surprised by another one of your postings!
    As for Mr. Ghost/Ramses – I totally concur. He’s is definitely a gem –and a unique one at that... Here I thought he was going to do a “Rickroll” on us but he certainly delivered on his promise with that delightful reveal. Is he aware that Canada’s national symbol as far as animal motif goes –was for a long time characterized by that long-suffering, hard-working, dam-building beaver? You would think we would have chosen an animal that was a bit more photogenic, a bit more "cool" -after all, we are in the frozen north-- but noooooooooo. We have a beaver imprinted on our five-cent coinage. Then when our Canadian Mint decided to do away with all paper $1 and $2 bills and convert them to coinage, they adopted the Canada goose or the “loon” to represent our solidity in all affairs re: money and our banking so that now, our beloved home and native land can be referred to as the land of the loons or the “loonies”... so the dollar coin is the loonie and the two-dollar coin is the twoonie... I’m not joking... Is it any wonder that Americans are always amazed by Canadians’ lack of “national pride?”
    And now for domestic matter/arts: I must confess that I’m really not an expert and currently I am waging a losing battle with ever-mounting paper from a supposedly paperless office/home. More computer functions like air tickets, invoices, emails, articles online, even recipes--the more paper...and multiple copies of the same thing due to misplacement – oh where did I put that hardcopy...that’s OK, I’ll just print off another one...{SIGH!} and more paper, more dust and, more dust, more Swiffer...

    to be continued...

  9. continued from above...
    By the way, Swiffer also comes in the form of a puffy duster precisely for non-smooth surfaces like computer keyboards, piles of paper just about to collapse if you do the conventional Swiffer mop treatment, but if you opt for the more gentle “dusting” treatment by the “puffy” version, you may be able to get a bit more mileage and time out of the growing stack without suffering a gravitational disaster.

    Now I was finding that the namebrand Swiffer products were taking up a slightly disproportionate part of the family budget for cleaning products and “disposables”......so you can understand how pleased I was when I discovered a very economical version at our own “Dollar” stores – everything for a dollar! Twenty sheets for a buck/loonie! And as for the duster variety, three poofy feather duster types in a box, the plastic handle included for a buck. And since I’ve become a rather loyal fan of Coronation Street, I’ve become acquainted with the likes of UK’s Poundland which I think is a similar type of retail establishment. Some Corrie actor is always showing up at the opening of yet another outlet.
    Well, that’s my short little treatise on the Swiffer family of fine products to help on the dusting front. My one tip I have on the kitchen front – we’ve been inundated lately from the news media as to the proliferation of germs associated with any culinarvy activities. So now everyone and their dog are purchasing those anti-bacterial soaps, liquid detergents, and even lotions that supposedly you can put on your hands in case you are not near a wash basin to wash your hands. Yes, it’s common place in buildings here to see these lotions at reception desks, security desks, before doorways. Perhaps we should just all revert back to wearing gloves: white gloves for the ladies, black for the gents. And while we’re at it... I always thought hats were a nice thing to wear as well... and on the subject of head dress...back to that Iranian movie “Children of Heaven” – all the females, including children are shown wearing a scarf over their hair –completely covering the hair but not the face. Actually, given some of the haircuts I’ve seen on some women and a lot of men these days...well, not a bad idea. Multi-colored scarves – some with nice patterns. And some days, it’s just a bad hair day for people so a scarf is a more attractive option than say a backward turned baseball cap... just my opinion. Oh dear, I’m getting on a tangent...back to the problem of bacteria and germs in the kitchen and the bath. I actually do not use the anti-bacterial products, but have a large supply of plain white vinegar. Back in high school chemistry class I think most were taught that the chemical composition of alcohol and vinegar were similar. In any case, the plain, power, pungent stuff has been around since the time of Jesus and been used for all sorts of purposes including disinfection. And the aroma, as powerful as it is won’t linger on counter tops and other smooth surfaces. So the bottom line – use ordinary soap and hot water...then after handling things like raw meat, chicken, etc. Wipe down surfaces with vinegar.
    ...to be continued...

  10. ...continued from above...

    To get tea/coffee stains off mugs and other white pottery, use another old kitchen product – baking soda. Slightly wet the stained cup with a spoonful of water and then dust a bit of baking soda on the surface and wipe with a kitchen cloth.... all the brown stains will come off. Leaving a cup of exposed baking soda in the refrigerator will get rid of any funny smells in your fridge...I’ve often read that in magazines, but then for me if my fridge does wind up smelling of something getting overly ripe....I figure I’d want to smell it so I know to get rid of it or it's strong encouragement to do a complete clean-up/clean-out of everything not just whatever is growing and coming to life in the back of the fridge...

    And one last tip I can offer the Domestic Goddess, bless her... these days with all the hoopla surrounding my the ingestion of raw vegetables and fruits and the necessity of washing them thoroughly before serving especially to children and to the elderly whose immunity may either not be fully developed or else compromised...what I do is wash all lettuce, broccoli, grapes, oranges, strawberries, etc with salt. Either immerse them in salty water and then rinse or else with oranges, rub their wet surface with a bit of salt and then rinse, then peel them or cut them into pieces. Again, salt is another old, reliable, ancient product with multiple uses – preservative, substitute for toothpaste in third world countries. I would rather trust the salt treatment than any “detergent” they sell in the stores which supposedly has been specially formulated to wash germs off perishable foods. I don’t have any proof that my salt alternative effectively gets rid of bacteria, but I figure it can’t hurt and regular iodized salt is another inexpensive product...and I haven’t suffered food poisoning in a very long time...
    {Another long post...one would think I’d have something better to do.... ah well, I suppose I can watch some of the Olympics...or Tiger Woods's apology to the world...it's just a wonderful world of fun out there, eh? ...sigh!}

  11. Thanks SOC, the Domestic Goddess is going to be so giddy when she reads all your advice. In fact I hope she isn't do giddy she makes herself sick (it can happen).

    Do you have Kim & Aggie in Canada?

  12. Hi DWC...

    It's snowing again here...and the usual rain will fall afterwards making everyone and everything slushy...a fitting/finishing complement to a day spent innovating, being creative, enegaged, motivated... and in most cases performing as a highly paid security guard for expensive PC systems generously provided by the Company to help our productivity. Well, at least that's one way to think of one's pay...I've never thought of myself as being "highly paid" to do anything...

    As the Witchdoctors say and write...what we need is an "attitude" adjustment or greater still a "paradigm" shift when it comes to work/careers...{sigh!}

    Well, I with the Domestic Goddess all the best in her pursuit of the tidy, hygienic home. Feel free to let her know that I'm open to any advice she can offer as well... I've been feelng quite giddy myself with the latest happenings in Corrie as well as East Enders...I've been stealing a peek at the competing, much younger UK soap and trying to follow along. It's not as good as Corrie but it does have some fast-moving plotlines. The latest is a "Who Killed Archie Mitchell" caper and the murderer was revealed in a special "live" episode broadcast last Friday...

    Yes, I'm giddy...I shall have to search for a home remedy for giddiness... I think I read that bananas are good. Dry soda crackers as well. And ultimately, a bowl of oatmeal is supposed to do the trick.

    Bon Apetite.
    Snacky/SOC/Dirty Dishes ...actually, I think I like "Snacky" best...

  13. Oh, btw -- I've never heard of Kim and Aggie. They must be some kind of domestic, UK version of Martha Stewart, right? Fascinating... UK has such wonderful shows. For a while, I was quite taken by Nigella Lawson's show -- but I quickly got tired of her...not exactly sure why, but I find that I get tired when things get repetitive -- hence, I tend not to read more than one or two of the same author's work, watch all the films from the same film director, etc..

    Oh, but there was one UK cooking show I absolutely, truly madly and deeply loved..."Two Fat Ladies" -- it was GOLD. And the two ladies were charming. They truly made British cuisine appetizing and the two of them were a HOOT! Nigella, Jaime, Martha Stewart...Graham Kerr --none of them can hold a candle to those two. I do miss them!

    Going back briefly to Nigella. I do believe she's married to the UK's top Government Financier --we in Canada call our guy Federal Finance Minister, but you Brits call him something like the Chair of the Exchequer? His name is Nigel Lawson I think. Anyway, the entire cadre of Finance folk were here in Canada for one of those summit meetings for the top moneymen in the civilized world. Our native folk the Inuit nation just before the lot of them left on their private jets had prepared their usual traditional feast of raw seal and I had it on good authority that Mr. Nigel passed up the invite and made a fast gettaway. Talk about eating and running...he didn't even TRY it! Nigella would have appreciated a takeaway bag and perhaps have made soup...

  14. Kim & Aggie are more Two Fat Ladies than Martha Stewart.

    Nigel Lawson was Nigella's dad. It would be a bit weird having a couple called Nigel & Nigella, although you'd have to say Nigella is a pretty odd name anyway - unless you really really liked the curry seeds. You're right though, he was Chancellor of the Exchequer. When you've got a job title that grand you're probably excused from eating raw seal.

  15. Hi Dishwasher Crab,

    I looked up this Kim and Aggie and their show and I must admit that I find the whole bundle a bit scary. I much rather go back to my adorable Two FAt Ladies cooking up a storm with their high fat butter/lard recipes than these two freaky birds with their toothbrushes having their go at the grimey build-up in someone's tub. I'm not a fan of Martha Stewart's show either although I'm told by a few friends that a lot of her household tips are quite good.
    So Nigel and Nigella are father-daughter. So it should be. And "Chancellor" -- what an impressive title to bestow on the UK's top moneyman. It's even more impressive sounding than Chairman of the Federal Reserve...which itself is much more impressive than our Finance Minister. I've always wondered who these people are ministering unto... Maybe the plan was that Government was supposed to be like a BIG church and the adoring, tax-paying public was the loyal congregation that listened and paid up every week after a sermon. And in that case, I'd say that we Canucks have the less glamorous title, but have the more accurate picture.

    Oh...please, please post something else up soon -won't you? (no pressure, of course). It's so much fun to read your blog. It's such an inspiration to me to get writing...perhaps I shouldn't pollute your blog with all this rubbish I've written so far. I should really do the long stuff on my own blog, shouldn't I?. I'm feeling like I'm trampling all over the grass on someone else's yard... {sigh...:-)}... I'll try to be more brief in future...

    Please give my regards to the Goddess, Voxra, and Pork Chop, Mr. Shaffy,


  16. Snacky, please feel free to post here as long and as often as you like! This blog would be a pretty drab affair without your presence.

  17. Hi all

    Thank you for your kind comments Snacky.

    I loved the two fat ladies too, if you liked them you should try the Hairy Bikers.

    Glad you managed to locate the wonderful woolly womb again Crab my dear. Ah, those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end........

    I don't think I fancy being initials, that would be far too PC.