Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Beyond the Pie Chart

Work is depressing and demoralising once again. Last year we had a big severance scheme and lots of our friends lost their jobs - but at least they had a choice, they got a pay-out and a little party before they went.

It's much nastier now. People are still losing their jobs, but this time it is all sneaky and underhanded - now our friends and colleagues are just sort of disappearing in the night.

I don't have high hopes for my job lasting much longer.

So. What we normally do when we are at a particularly low ebb is to raise our spirits by talking about PIES.

As everyone knows, the best pies come from Wigan, as do the happiest pie-eaters.

Pies. Mmmmm. You can stick them in a barm, you can drizzle them with pea-wet, or you can cover them with sauce.

If I had a sauce bottle this lovely I would eat pies and chips and stuff every day.

A tip for real pie-lovers: put five or six pies on a skewer and call it a kebab.


  1. Oh Crab my dear, I do empathise with your situation. Been there, have several tee shirts. If it's any consolation, I'm in a job that makes me thoroughly depressed and am seriously considering my position as we speak. This will make me very poor as, being of advancing years, I only have four working years left, and there are virtually no job opportunities for wrinklies like me. However, health being more important than money........

    If only I could knit!

  2. Oh dear Pork Chop, that's no good. But you are absolutely right, health is so much more important than money. Funny you should mention that, as today is the first day since early September that I've actually felt healthy at work. That's because the heating is broken. Hurrah!

    I could teach you to knit if you like.

  3. Work is the curse of the drinking classes you know. It's also a four letter word!

    How kind of you to offer to teach me to knit. I think I have to have some motivation to learn though! Many have tried to teach me and many have failed. I can't sew either, or crochet. I can cook though.

    I think I am suffering from the winter blues. I must have an aversion to words beginning with W. Winter, work, wool...

  4. Ms Wigan has lodged a complaint about the phrase 'blood bath' appearing in the same post as pastry.

    She is quite right. The offending sentence has been removed.

  5. Oh Dearest Dishy and Porky, if you read/remember my previous ranting and raving -- you'd know I'm no stranger myself to corporate weight-loss, downsizing, right-sizing, etc. There's nothing like "re-structuring" or "cost-saving" program to mask and dress-up the beheadings, revenge-killings and assassinations and the consequences of very bad decisions by the eating class (those who despite their considerably higher pay who nontetheless get lunch and parking paid for). Yes, the scape-goating has begun and the burden is borne by the drinking class who must be shrunk. Hasn't it always been like this?

    I can knit but I'm not good enough to knit my way to fame and fortune making woolly wombs and fuzzy felines... {sigh}. I'd like nothing better than to be able to do that, retire early and just have a constantly brewing kettle of tea on the stove while watching my Coronation Street in real time on the telly. I can cook, too Porky! I can't make those wonderfully provocative pies from Wigan that Dishy's got posted, but I can do a decent fry-up like the one up there. See if Roy Cropper or Anna Windass can serve up a breakfast dish half as lovely as that! How wickedly tantalizing and senuous that dish... the ketchup just oooozzzing out of that bottle with a touch running off the side...ooooohhh, it's food porn!
    Both food and porn are four letter words...

    Oh my goodness! My apologies for all the offensive language in this Comment. Not sure what's set me off using such choice of words... I, too Porky must be suffering the winter blahs... or else it's the all-season/no resason existential angst of the constantly confused class.

    Well Dishy, say the word if you or Porky or Ms Wiggan or the Goddess is offended, I shall be happy to remove the words or this entire Comment. But at least I had a chance to expel some blle that's been building off my chest --metaphorically speaking. For that I'm grateful.

    And do report on the state of your job, Dishy. For what it's worth you have my sympathy as well as empathy.

    Now off to get some pie...or perhaps some mixed grill or both. This blogpost has made me so hungry...

    All the best,

  6. I have always been interested in the pie as it's not something we have over here in the Netherlands. Pickled haring (herring to you), ja. Pies, not really.

    When I was alive my main diet consisted of cigarettes and wine. And good songs. None of which were about pies. Or pickled haring for that matter.

    Dank u wel.

  7. Hi everyone...I wonder where Dishwashwer Crab is. I hope he's not too sad/depressed about his job. Oh by the way Pork Chop, thank you for pointing out that cooking show Hairy Bikers. It's like watching a reincarnation of the Two Fat Ladies. The two lads are quite lovable and funny. And they certainly do seem to know their way around the kitchen. I'm intrigued as to how they came to cooking. If I'm not mistaken, though the Bikers also get into some non-UK cuisine and the Two Fat Ladies stuck mostly with Brit foods. I caught the ytube clip of the two of them serving up haggis and some kind of heavenly mash (potatoes, turnips, whipped cream and butter) for Robbie Burns Day. It looked delicious, actually...

    Dear Dishy, I hope you are having pie and chugging back your favourite brew, but we miss you...please write/post soon :-)...

    Back to food -- one of my favourite topics (besides Coronation Street)-- Mr. Ghost/Shaffy, I'm surprised that the Dutch don't have a version of pie? No version of pastry-covered sweet or savory delight? Oh there must be... I've tried pickled herring and although I've had colleagues/friends tell me that it's an acquired taste -- I must admit it's quite delicious...with some crackers. It's rare I must say when I meet a pickle I don't like. I think perhaps the problem is that often the powerful aroma given off by pickled delights belies its actual tastiness...

    I hope in the afterlife, I won't have to give up on things like wine, pickled herring/haring, cigars/cigarettes, pies, British breakfasts. Actually, I'm not much of a beer/wine drinker or smoker in this life...I'm counting on being a much better conaisseur in the after-life. Perhaps my musical and singing ability will get a boost as well... :-).

    Thank you, Dank u wel, taaaa, merci beaucoup...and all the best
    to Dishy, Porky, Shaffy,the Goddess, Ms. Wigan, Voxsra, and apologies to any of Dishy's friends I've missed...


  8. Snacking' - of course, if pickled herring isn't your thing you can gorge yourself on a cone of 'vlaamse mit fritesaus'...that's chips and mayo to you!

    Very nice.

    Or you can have 'patate oorlog', literally "war chips". That's with mayo AND ketchup together!

  9. War chips? Mayo & ketchup together. Errr. That's kinda getting back to the whole blood-bath imagery I was trying to avoid.

  10. Ja. Mayo and ketchup together. I wouldn't recommend it myself....

  11. Love chips, frites, fritesaus, plus the various other varieties like Japanese tempura, Indian pekoras...hmmm what else...any tasteless boring vegetable that's been given new life by a little deep frying in oil! Actually, I've read that some Brits like to make a tasty thing even tastier -- deep fried Mars Bars -- how intriguing... I've had deep fried ice cream -unusual but probably the same idea as a Mars Bar given the hot oil treatment...

    well, yes I've had on occasion been served gourmet frites that came with both ketchup and mayo (or it was actually basil mayo - yum!), but my pacifist palate couldn't take both ketchup AND mayo together--somehow that was going to be really brutal and overload the senses.

    Ah yes, waiter please bring a cone of your best deep fried pomme de terre... and while you are at it, bring a dish of wine/beer steamed mussels to go with that...mmmmmmmm....

    It's a bit past lunch time here...I'm so hungry...have skipped breakfast and lunch...{sigh}

    Good to hear from you Dishy and Shaffy - I've missed you

  12. I'm pretty sure Deep Fried Mars Bars are only a Scottish delicacy - not England.

    I have heard that in the south they eat their chips dry. Dry! No gravy or curry sauce or anything. Err.

  13. Ah yes...we outsiders to the UK have to appreciate those differences. Scotland and their deep fried Mars Bars and if I'm not mistaken, their meat pies. How do they take their fried potatoes, I wonder - those inventors (I think) of the bagpipes, golf, and the sport of curling. Our French-Canadian brethtren take their pomme frites with gravy and cheese curds and call them poutine. I had some a little while back from a New York Fries fast food outlet at a mall here in Canada. It takes a bit of getting used to but it does taste better than it sounds...
    ...but really, those southerners...dry chips? nothing? a naked chip? ....undressed and nowhere to go? Nowt! Barbarians, I say....