On the top of the world

As mentioned earlier (here and here) I have been walking. This year I have now walked 1,760 miles.

If I was to walk this distance in a straight line, how far would I get now?

Svalbard!

What do we know about Svalbard?

Here is a map:


Although it is rather lovely, there is quite a lot of information missing - so I wouldn't suggest using this map to plan a holiday or anything. And if you were thinking of going by boat, be careful - watch out for all those whales and seals and assorted sea monsters.




His Dark Materials is one of the finest children's stories ever written, but Svalbard is probably not inhabited by armoured bears. (Wouldn't it be good if it was though?!)


It does, however, have some magnificent skies.


Click on the pic to see it full size - and click here to see more.


Svalbard is a very long way north indeed.
It is so far north it is On the Top of the World.
Here are some very happy people who know a little song about being on the top of the world:




In fact Svalbard is probably just about as far north as any normal human would want to go. So I'm not going there. Instead, this weekend, I will be heading south. All the way south to Brighton.

Because FC United are playing Brighton & Hove Albion in the Second Round of the FA Cup!!

And look, they've got a Boardwalk!


We know a little song about that too, don't we?

Good luck lads!

Fun with Meat

From the Gallery of Regrettable Food.

Really, the picture says it all - I can't think of a single thing I can say that will make it any better.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November

and tonight is a night we are never, ever going to forget!

Originally, Guy Fawkes Night was all about gunpowder, treason and hoo haa:



but tonight we are off to Rochdale - and the scenes are going to be remarkably similar:

(photo by Alastair Adams)

For the first time in our short life, FC United are in the
FA Cup. Proper. - and I am already so giddy I am making myself sick.

Here is a little taster from ESPN for those of you who, like me, just cannot wait.



Giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy. Oh dear. I need some pharmaceuticals and a little lie down.



Get out your rattles and get out your rosettes and get on that train to Rochdale. This is going to be the best night ever!!!

Good Luck Lads!

Dev's Eclair

As promised, and with thanks to The Weatherfield Librarian.
Here is the wrapper dropped by Dev at the theatre:

Isn't it crumpled? He must have really enjoyed it.

Dr Faustus

Last night The Weatherfield Librarian, who sits at the other end of the office from me, was at the Royal Exchange Theatre attending a production of Dr Faustus (The Weatherfield Librarian being a rather erudite young man).

Here's a fine photo of the Royal Exchange, nicked from Photo Camel.



Good, isn't it?

Anyway, this post is not an architectural critique, or even a theatre review. It turns out that The Weatherfield Librarian was seated next to Dev Alahan! Here is his report:

1. Dev Alahan was dressed in a somewhat foppish manner, a la Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
2. Sunita was not there (presumably at home minding the twins).
3. Dev was eating Cadbury's Eclairs - and dropping the wrappers on the floor! What a dirty boy.

The Weatherfield Librarian now has in his possession one of these wrappers - and has promised to get me a photo of it to post on this blog. In the meantime, here is an artist's impression of how the floor of that lovely theatre might have looked after Mr Alahan had finished stuffing his face.



What a grub.

Red Balloons

When I was walking past the Corrie set this morning I noticed that they were blowing up bunches of red balloons. No idea what story they will be for; surely it is too early to be filming next year's valentine episode?



Anyway, the effect of the red balloons against the early morning cobbles and the misty grey sky was rather fetching.

Here's a tune about red balloons that you may remember from the olden days:



And here is a jigsaw which you might enjoy piecing together while you listen to the music.

That's enough about balloons for now, I'm off home to cook my tea.

Modern Manners

It has now become quite acceptable to separate from one's partner or sack one's employees by text message. UR sackd. This apparently is Yoof Culture, and therefore a good thing.

The Pope has been visiting Britain over the weekend, and this got the Crab wondering: does the Catholic Church excommunicate its members by text? Because if they do, the word EXCOMMUNICATED would involve quite a lot of button pushing. Even if you substituted 8, as in EXCOMMUNIC8D it would still involve a lot of clicks - and I'm guessing the Catholics have more manners than that anyway.

Does anyone know what you have to do to get excommunicated? I don't either, but here is a papal beer mat from the recent tour:



I don't know very much at all about religion, so my mind wandered on to other long words.

Here's a big one: somatoparaphrenia

I looked it up on Wikipedia (naturally) and it appears that this is a "delusion where one denies ownership of a limb or an entire side of one's body. As an example, a patient would believe that her or his own arm would belong to the doctor, or that another patient left it behind."

That's really rather sad isn't it? I am delighted to have a full set of limbs and fingers and toes, and I hope they are as happy to be with me as I am with them. There's something quite forlorn about trying to leave one's leg on the bus.


(These are from this blog. I've read it, and still don't know what it's about.)

Anyway, back to the Pope. He went to Scotland and he went to the South but he didn't come here, and thus I am none the wiser. Pretty well everything I know about the Catholic Church I have learned from multiple viewings of Father Ted, and what I have learned is:

As a place of employment it is shambolic, largely pointless, and layered in petty jealousy, greed, ignorance, spite and aggression, and most of the time, a bloody good laugh. So, all in all, very much like working in a Library.